Bridesmaids, maids of honour, your awesome foursome, Team Bride…

When my husband and I were getting married we were going abroad and taking no one with us, so no bridesmaids were required. In the run up to the wedding there was a falling out of sorts so my closest friends and I drifted apart. It was over a hen do of all things. I won’t go into the details but the power of hindsight makes you realise how silly the whole thing was.

We met over a decade ago when a few of us were teenagers waitressing at our local Italian restaurant and over the years we saw each other struggle, achieve, cry, laugh, get tattooed, get pierced, fail, succeed, drunk, hungover, sober, being miserable, being hilarious, being brilliant, being compassionate. We took holidays, had nicknames, we had private jokes which thinking back to I can’t really recall how they came about. Random words would have us in stitches. We saw each other grieve when we lost a loved one or get pissed off at an absent parent. I’ve slept on their floors, in their beds, I’ve been guests at their dinner tables and they at mine.

I moved away, and as it sometimes happens, I put more distance and miles between us which meant that thrice weekly night out became once a month which became once every few months which inevitably became “I haven’t seen you since Christmas” and eventually became never again. I haven’t seen them for years now and, from what I gather, they’re all still friends and now some have kids, have gotten married and I’ve done the same.

I miss the friendship, the team, the feeling of belonging. It’s not like I want to get together and re hash the past and pretend that we’ve got loads in common again – too much time has passed, too much water under the bridge. But every time I shoot a wedding I’m reminded of this camaraderie; the girls looking after the bride. Team Bride. Some are school friends, work colleagues, uni friends, cousins, and they all have each others backs. The girls rallying round ensuring their bride has the best time ever. Sometimes they come up with surprise speeches or gifts, sometimes they simply make sure the Prosecco keeps on coming.

They have nicknames, private jokes, and random words that get them in stitches.

Hold onto your friends – work hard to maintain your relationships. Make sure the distances don’t ever become too big. Don’t let silly things like hen do squabbles get in the way of having an awesome foursome in your corner.

Trice. Outkast “Roses”. I am in the beach. Just wang it.